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Tuesday, September 30, 2008
~ 9/30/2008 09:51:00 PM ~
Role Models
The role models argument (if it is going to be used) is ludicrous. What kind of role model is a person going to be if he is teaching his students to keep lying to themselves about who and what they are?

Perhaps one of the key reasons we have a problem with gay teachers as role models is because our law continues to criminalize gay people.

The point about role models is so silly I will not dignify it with further attention.

Parents
Parents need to ask themselves - would you reject a teacher who is dedicated, good at what he does and behaves with integrity just because he has come out as gay?

Would you rather have teachers who teach your students to lie to themselves and to you?

Do you realise how many teachers are gay? And that perhaps they are good teachers because they are gay?

I am fully aware of the discussions about the sexual safety of children against gay predators. The reality is the sexual safety of children is an issue regardless of the orientation of our children. What we should be doing is to have mechanisms and ground rules in schools that bear in mind the possibility of predatorial teachers and to teach our kids to protect themselves. I recall a parent once telling me he taught his daughter that if anyone touches her around the area covered by her swimsuit she should tell him/her to stop and inform her parents - now there is a case of an enlightened parent!

One more question: Do you really think that having your students taught by closseted/hidden gay teachers more safe than openly gay teachers? Think again! The first group will never have any form of accountability the second will behave professionally with your children because they know that they are in the open. So think again.

Schools
Perhaps some schools like the one in question may want to consider asking parents who want their children in their school to sign a form stating that they will be ok with gay teachers.

A Singaporean Teacher Comes Out

This is a letter written by a dedicated Singaporean gay teacher. The MOE requested him to take it down from his blog. Will he be able to keep his job and grow in the profession he has dedicated his life to and cherishes?

I know gay teachers who are good at their work but who always struggle between being true to themselves and the fear of being found out by the MOE. Stresses like this take a psychological toll on our talented gay sons and daughters. Write a note to the Minister for Education (tharman_shanmugaratnam@moe.gov.sg)to express your support for the integrity of OF and other gay teachers.

An Open Letter

I have been teaching Science in a Singaporean school for the last eight years.

Being a teacher has been the most rewarding part of my professional life thus far. My students continue to amaze me daily with their wit, maturity, independent thinking and leadership. It is very fulfilling that I am a part of an institution that moulds the future generation of Singapore’s leaders.

Leaders are people who can rise above the tide of popular opinion, people who are guided by the conviction of rightness and justice and in being so guided, lead others towards that right path.

Recent events leading to my action

Recent events have made me decide to write this open letter. In April this year, Minister Mentor Mr Lee Kuan Yew called homosexuality a “genetic variation”, questioning the validity of criminalising gay sex. In July, MP Baey Yam Keng expressed support for the repeal of Section 377A of the penal code (which criminalises gay sex acts). In August, Malaysian columnist and ordained pastor Oyoung Wenfeng released his inspiring new Mandarin book “Tong Gen Sheng”, encouraging gay men and women to come out of the closet.

A few evenings later, I attended a forum organised by People Like Us on gay teachers and students. A few brave twenty-something guys asked, “Why has there been so little guidance available to me as a gay teenager?” It was a question that I had asked myself often, growing up.

When I became a teacher in 1999, I looked back on the good guidance my own teachers gave me as a template, and tried to be a better teacher to my students. Besides teaching them Science, I spent considerable effort in imparting good social values: give up your seats to the needy, save the handicapped parking lot for those in wheelchairs and their caretakers, respect people regardless of profession or social status.

How hate is perpetuated

Yet, in the eight years I have taught, I have done little for that small group of students who are gay. When the religious group Focus on the Family masqueraded as sex guidance counselors and gave a talk full of misinformation about homosexuality to our students, I was furious but kept my mouth shut.

When my niece returned from school saying, “Gays are disgusting!” I knew she learnt that hatred from a classmate, who had in turn absorbed that hatred from a parent. I knew that this hatred has been perpetrated for generations. But hatred grew out of fear, and hatred, as a line in a movie goes, “leads to the Dark Side.” This is the same environment of hatred I grew up in, as a gay teenager and student.

Until Section 377A* is repealed, there will be precious little the Ministry of Education can do to help these students. As a teacher, I am bound by my professional duty to follow the directives of my superiors.

While these events helped crystallize my decision to come out of the closet, my motivation remains deeply personal.

My family and I

As far back as primary six, I have been aware of my attraction towards classmates of the same sex. For those who argued about nurturing factors of the family, my brother and sister grew up under the same parents and remained heterosexuals despite growing up with me in close proximity.

As a teenager, I was very quick to sense society’s aversion towards the ‘sissies’ in my classes. I worked hard to distance myself from them. While I was successful in modifying my outward behavior, my sexual orientation remained unchanged. My denial gnawed at me, and the suppression of my true self resulted in self-destructive behavior during my overseas university years.

Fortunately, my American fraternity mates were supportive. I began to see a counselor who helped me accept myself for who and what I am.

Returning to Singapore, I came out to my family. My father, mother, brother and sister, out of love for their son and brother, walked the long road to acceptance. It was not easy for them, but they loved me before I came out, and they love me after. When I finally settled down with my longtime companion (we have been together for more than nine years), my entire family made sure my nieces and nephews included us in their lives. I loved my family too much to keep them in the dark, to deny them the chance to really know me. And they loved me too much to let some old prejudice tear our family apart.

I kept my sexual orientation a secret at work, and only a handful of my colleagues knew about me.

I don’t want to be a bonsai tree

Not counting my childhood, I have spent more than twenty years in the professional closet. I am nearing my fourth decade on Earth. While I have had some successes in life, I am not content to be just average. As I have often told my students, “Why be average when you can be your best?”

Do you know what a bonsai tree is? A bonsai tree is an imitation of a real tree. It is kept in a small pot with limited nutrients, trimmed constantly to fit someone else’s whim. It looks like a real tree, except it can’t do many things a real tree can. It cannot provide shelter, it cannot find food on its own; its life and death are totally reliant on its owner. It is the plant version of the 3-inch Chinese bound foot for women: useless and painful.

Being in the closet, pretending to be straight, trimming our true selves to suit the whims and expectations of others, is just like being a human bonsai tree. By staying in the closet, we cannot even hope to be average, much less above and beyond average.

I felt that in order to reach my fullest potential as a useful human being, I must first fully accept myself, and face the world honestly. I have lived long enough to know that what I am is not a disease, an aberration or a mental illness.

Hate is not a religious value

Many people have cited many ‘reasons’ for hating homosexuals, just as many people tried to justify their views that the Earth was flat, that the darker skinned should always be inferior, and that women should subjugate their lives to men. The teachings of the world’s great religious traditions offer many words of wisdom, but the interpretations of their human followers are not infallible. As Jesus said in his Sermon on the Mount (yes, a personal Bible was given to me by a great lady and I honored her by reading the book), we must love our neighbors as ourselves. It is a simple teaching, but one that’s rarely followed by those who seek to oppress people different from themselves. The path to enlightenment always faces stubborn resistance. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you...”

There are some people who are using homosexuality to advance their personal ambitions vis a vis religion. They claim that the homosexual ‘agenda’ is to make the whole world gay and threaten the stability of the family. Yet, let us examine the evidence: Denmark, Norway and Sweden, the first countries to legalise gay marriage, are more stable than ever – their population has not been converted by gays and their heterosexual divorce rates have even decreased since gays have been afforded legal rights. (William N. Eskridge, Jr and Darren R. Spedale, Oxford University Press, 2006).

The only agenda gay people have is to be able to live with the same rights and dignity as our heterosexual brothers and sisters. Our very vocal opponents are the ones actively preying on innocent people, recruiting them to their cause by spreading fear and misinformation. I hope thinking people will quickly see that it is this small group of vocal objectionists who have a more dangerous agenda, that their fight with gay people has nothing to do with what’s right or wrong, but is merely a litmus test of their political influence. For peace and prosperity to continue, Singapore must always uphold secularism, where each different segment of the population respects the beliefs and rights of the others.

Can a country with no natural resources afford to drive away its own citizens?

There is a very pragmatic reason that you should support the rights and dignity of gay Singaporeans: in this globally-competitive era, Singapore needs her gay sons and daughters, just as we need our Singaporean Muslims, Buddhists, Christians, Hindus, immigrants, men and women, old folks and young. Most importantly, we need those gay sons and daughters because those gay sons and daughters are Singaporean Muslims, Buddhists, Christians, Hindus, immigrants, men and women, old folks and young. Can a country without natural resources continue to flourish when it starts to drive away its own children?

As I said before, leaders are people who are guided by the conviction of rightness and justice and in being so guided, lead others towards that right path.

I am still a teacher. My main purpose and joy is to teach our youngest citizens, the same ones who will be the leaders of our nation tomorrow. But, I feel I am shortchanging both society and myself by staying in the closet. I must be true to myself. If my colleagues and students, both gay and straight, see that being true to one’s own self has great value, perhaps we can produce a new generation who is truly courageous. A new generation of young people who are proud to be themselves, no matter what difference they have from their classmates. Then I will have succeeded in providing them a better education than I had the opportunity to receive during my years in school.

So here’s what I am, and I am a friend in need at the moment

So here it is: I, OF(full name), have always been and always will be a gay man. When you ask about my spouse, I will say he is a man. I am as proud being gay as you are proud being straight. I am not, as some people like to label gays, a pedophile, a child molester, a pervert or sexual deviant. I did not choose to be gay, just like heterosexuals did not choose to be straight. I am not going to hell (not for being gay anyway).

I am not going back in the closet. When you ask me who I am, I will answer: I am a son, a brother, a long-time companion, an uncle, a teacher, a classmate, a colleague, a part of your community, a HDB dweller, a Singaporean. And I am also gay.

I would like to enjoy the respect that all other Singaporeans enjoy. I will not let the closet bind my feet, because I am made to sprint. I am not interested in being a bonsai tree, my DNA is programmed to climb higher. My heart aspires to reach my fullest potential as a human being.

I hope, dear friends and colleagues, that you look back and remember what I am, and see that I am not someone you fear. I am essentially the same person – flawed, imperfect, but brought up properly by two loving parents to lead a productive, beneficial and meaningful life. My friends and family love me for who I am, and I hope you can too. I come out to you with as much hope and trepidation as when I first come out to my mother and father. Your support and understanding are very important to me at this moment.

Thank you, may you prosper in health and soul.

Taken from singaporeangay.blogspot.com
------------------------------------------

Searched up this off google and adapted from a blog.. don't ask. This letter was an open letter about a homosexual male teacher, just like any normal men out there, writing about him and his gay lifestyle. I think it's really sad how people discriminate against them, going "gays are faggots" immediately when hearing about it, it's a common misconception that gay people behave like sissies because those are two different things. Look it up in dictionary.com, even it says so, the two different words mean two different things and no hint of it is similar. The closet and bonsai tree analogy was really relative, it could effectively symbolise the hardships of a homosexual person and I think gay people don't have to say they're gay. Unlike normal straight guys, people who ask them their sexual orientation immediately they answer "I'm straight.". But not everyone has to do so, homos don't have to go "I'm gay" when asked for their sexual orientation, it's their choice if they wanna keep it to themselves, not everyone's Clay Aiken.

So the bible and other religions mostly consider a homosexual lifestyle as a sin, resulting in punishment after death such as being sent to Hell or torture etc. but I believe that not being able to do what you want to or be with the person you want to is worse than hell by a hundred times, I would rather die immediately and go to Hell more than anything.

So, schoolteachers are not allowed to be homosexual because they may lead students to the same thing? Isn't this discrimination? How is this different from racism? So we respect each other's religions and not their sexual orientation? Don't think so. And if the schoolteacher was a good teacher. A role model, a good teacher with integrity and highly educated. Able to create better futures for his or her students but is not allowed to be a teacher.. because he/she is homosexual?

Really think people out there should open their heads and not be so narrow-minded. Personally I feel hate is perpetuated from images and misconceptions of students discussing about them in school. As a student myself I hear things like this in school, generally biased and often wrong.

In any case, hope this doesn't offend anyone or bring any unpleasant remarks. Just needed to vent —— anyhow. I'm not going to Hell for being gay(or bisexual anyways).

------------------------------------

Woke up at 6.10 today, ready 'bout .35 as usual. Made my way to the train station.. arrived at Nick's house around 7.05 I think, left at 7.10, we were 3 minutes earlier than yesterday, joy.. -__- Made it on time, well there was a Lightning Risk Alert so we wouldn't be late anyway.

Reading period.. MsToh came right on time for the first time.. she gave us a 3a1behavedwell sticker, but I think we deserve so much more? She just expects way too much. Forgot what were the periods afterwards or what happened during them.. Recess, Malays were allowed to go home earlier 'cause they had to return home to help prepare for the big day tomorrow. 'case you didn't know it's Hari Raya tomorrow.

Recess'ed as usual.. didn't eat 'cause the giants were in the queue and buying was not possible..? .____. went to gym to slack.. watched Justin play volleyball with his peers and the a2 people were squashing each other under the mats..? I wouldn't wanna be the one sandwiched between..

Forgot what happened.. oh I think there was Math before recess.. one period. Learned a little bit.. gonna stay back for remedial on Thursday.

Stayed back to watch them play volleyball again.. came prepared with my PSP! So I wasn't bored, listening to song and playing games :D Was so tired.. wanted to sleep but there wasn't anywhere to.. the hall was filled with tables and chairs for the examination but they played volleyball there anyways, moved some of the tables further away so there would be space to, had a chat with Justin about friends and stuff. Lol, realized Kid's a really fun guy to be with, he's a humourous person that's fun to talk to and play with, joker :D Sooo tired.. oh yeah.. we did an English mock paper again during English after recess.. I slept for 30 minutes woke up and saw Jeremy doing his word count for summary o___o.. and I was.. at passage A? but when I finished my word count for summary he was still counting his words..? Lol I did that fast? But the passage was relatively easy. BUT the questions was nonetheless tricky, and there're many rephrase questions.. don't think I did too well.

So bored.. went to WestMall to eat and buy chineseElectronicDictionary(CED).. ate BurgerKing.. so niceeeeeeeeeee それはよく味がした~ chat with Jeremy&Nick for a pretty long time.. about what..? Don't remember.. .____. but I know we chat about some stuff.. can't remember T____T.. &nyways, went to Popular afterwards.. the CED no stock so.. I left my number and may be going to buy tomorrow with Nick.. and there's a small chance I'm gonna go KBox with my brother :D..

Train-ed home.. originally wanted to study but nah.. didn't bathe immediately.. turned on computer.. then fell asleep on the chair ZZ .___. somehow I made my way to the bed..? But I don't remember moving.. there was no one at home either so.. I dunno how I got there..

Anyways.. was supposed to play dotA but Nick's loserbrother took complete domination over the computer and he had to let him use it.. so we didn't play.. cooked noodles.. ate.. I WANT REAL FOOD LIKE STEAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD ICECREAMMMMMMMM(??). So bored.. seriously.. so bored I went to look up weird stuff.. gonna go sleep with my dog now.. byeeeee.

It's 26 degrees currently.. gonna drop to 24 in two hours time, the following few days are gonna be thunderstorms and rainy days.. weather ranging from highest 31 to lowest 23.. why am I posting this.... D: so boredddd. Oh yeah.. while stripping in the morning today I found out there's a pimple on my butt =____= super irritating.. why can't it be on the face, why there.__.

Monday, September 29, 2008
~ 9/29/2008 11:02:00 PM ~
Singaporeans can't read? Lol, that's been what I've been noticing everyday when I'm at the platform of CCK's train station.. Lot1's currently under renovation, but is still opened to public and there's MacDonald's', with it's backdoor visible from an angle from the station, where I usually wait for the train. Obviously, the door says "Pull" but what I see is that people usually go there, and they push it, doesn't work, so they continue pushing and they give up. Finally deciding to try pulling the door, "Hey it works!" and then forget they left their valuables inside.. go back in and pull the door.. but.. he's supposed to push it so the same thing happens again. After retrieving his stuff he turns back to the door.. and pushes it again. LOL. Wtf cracked me up.. people were staring at me <_<;


.. the inadequacy.

Woke up at 6.10 today.. got ready at .35, yeah I took my time.. fell asleep on the wall while bathing hot water :D super shuaaaaaaang..

Reach Nick's house super early, LEFT SUPER LATE THOUGH. Even almost late for school.. Math class.. felt guilty for sleeping through the paper.. so I didn't dare ask MrsToh anything, but she came to ask me what happened anyways.. Thank yoooooooou :D

CME/PG I think.. did English was fun&all, yeah sure.. slept through the period.

Recess! Lol ate with Jacq&YahTing, then Dayna came behind my back D: scared me, she likes scaring me .___. Apparently unhappy that I said her chinese name's ugly D: IT'S NOT that ugly okay. Mine's ugly too :D 家豪. So ugly lerh. D:

&nyways, back from recess.. English I think, moved to Gwen's seat, she didn't wanna talk to me 'cause I blamed her.. so I moved back then to Jeremy's. He was talking about dirty stuff with Firdaus..? He was talking about anal virginity for guys.. and army stuff.. that also concerns the anus of a guy =.= Fuckin'pervert.

Afterwards was Physics? I think Physics was BEFORE English sorry D: Did nothing.. lol or at least not anything important. Geography.. oh wait, that's BEFORE Recess lol :D but nevermind. MsSiew was teaching us SS o_O.. lol I actually UNDERSTOOD. And I also found out Gwen sucks at SS lol.. >_>;;

Eh.. I think Chinese, that was AFTER recess.. lol so messed up today.. did some test.. so many passages.. didn't do the comprehension.. TOO LONG D: It burns my eyes.

POA.. so borinnnng, sat with Jeremy again.. and he was STILL on the topic of anal stuff, and more pervertic stuff..

Home.. well not yet —— went to gym and watched them(Nick, Jeremy, Marcus, Justin) play volleyball.. they were watching porn at the back of the class during POA? Then Justin showed me .. uh boring..? I think the females are really cheap in the film .____. but nonetheless nice? :X But couldn't stand so yeah. AND I WAS IN SCHOOL?! Slept on the table.. a lot of balls flying around so I didn't dare to sleep fully.. xD; Marcus shirt super wet la.. D: so gross.

Went home, went to Nick's house, Maccas before that. Ate then went up to his house.. he asked me which porn he should send to Justin..? Then he showed me some.. .. I don't like..? -____-;.. Studied, KIND OF. I didn't bring back my Math worksheet so fuckdamnit.

Home at 7+.. played with Jeremy&Nick.. owned so badly.. no we got OWNED so badly.. T__T I couldn't get myself to concentrate. Blogging now..&gonna go sleep nao, baibai.

Oh yeah.. received some disturbing news from Gabriel.. .. yuck..

Sunday, September 28, 2008
~ 9/28/2008 09:52:00 PM ~
GEMINI - The Chatterbox
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, But is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally.


Woke up at 1.. thought I missed the studying trip with Nick.. only to find out he's going to Malaysia.. said he'd be back at 3.. but at 3 he said 5.. then 5 he said 6.. then decided not to go 'cause it was late and he would be tired when he's back D:

Chat with Gwen the whole day again :D We were finding songs, watching some "cute guy" =.= on youTube doing "stupid cute stuff". And I'm gonna lip-sync to let her see tomorrow D: THAT's ME
:D

I feel so untouched and
I want you so much and
I, just can't resist you,
Not enough to say I miss
You .

Saturday, September 27, 2008
~ 9/27/2008 11:59:00 PM ~
Did nothhhhhing today. If you count chatting with Gwen the entire day as something then I was very busy today.

Downloaded the game Jacq sent me yesterday.. it's fun but the trial period ended.. Gwen wasted 20 minutes of it D: (NOT blaming you). Yeah, she didn't wanna talk to me afterwards but we still did anyway .____.

I drank a whole POT of soup by myself :D. How awesome is that.. then neighbour's child b'day so there was buffet.. lol.. -grin-

Nick went to Jeremy's house D: Without meee, so jealous .__. HE'S MINE D:
This post is so redundant .___. but blogging anyways.

To still be sufferin' is stupid
after all of this time.
Did I lose my love to someone
better.
&Does she love you like I do.

Friday, September 26, 2008
~ 9/26/2008 07:22:00 PM ~
Today's a really bad day.. everything was pretty normal, except it was raining. Marcus had to ruin my day, well it wasn't purely his fault that my day was ruined.. some on the rain.. and another guy.

P.E, didn't do anything at all, they were playing volleyball and I dunno how to play .___. .. MrFoo took over, by the way. I think he's a useless teacher? He makes his instructions so simplified as if he was training a monkey. And almost all his instructions were redundant. So I was watchin' them play volleyball.. they had fun.

Chinese afterwards, took the interval time to go change into our uniforms. MsPeh was kind of late today.. for 10 minutes I think. Was talking with Nick about something when Marcus asked what we were talking about, but it wasn't nothing big so I didn't tell him.. but he got pissed off? So yeah that's ALL that happened. Really stupid if you ask me to fall out over this. Started to get touchy after that :/

English, was s'posed to be assembly, but there wasn't anything planned today so it's contact time. Pay'd attention.. kind of, but couldn't help but sleep for awhile..

Recess, I think the rain got into me? Feeling really down so I didn't go with Nick and the others.. sat on the bench, then at the staircases. Wanted to cry out loud but only silent tears came out. Was hoping after that I'd feel better, but guess not.. sat at staircase 'til recess was over.. the bell rang twice, and I went back, I thought I was late but I wasn't.

English again, yeah it's formal this time. Slept the entire period, we weren't doing anything anyways..

Math —— did a mock paper.. wasn't feeling so well inside& never liked doing Math.. slept over it..

Went home alone, I wanted to be by myself, but in my heart I kept thinking where Nick went to .___. I wanted company, but I also wanted to be alone. Wanted to ask him out to Kbox but I've to take care of Money.. and 'sides the exams are coming up soon..

I think I was too much today? But I dunno what happened either.. the rain I guess.

Thursday, September 25, 2008
~ 9/25/2008 08:28:00 PM ~
Another quiz :D I got this off a random website I got linked to.

1) At what age do you wish to get married?
When I've money for a big ring. And when same-sex marriage is allowed LOL :D
2) Would you study or play hard?
I think we all say study hard but we always do the opposite?
3) Who would be most likely the person you trust most and would share secrets with?
Him.
4) Do you think you're confident and have enough or too much?
I think chocolate chip cookies are nice.
5) If you could've a dream come true, what would it be?
Being able to eat everything in the world, it's a dream right?!
6) Who would you like to see before your last breath?
AvrilLavigneeeeeeeeeeee
7) What's your resolution for this year?
Didn't I do this last year.
8) Do you believe in eternal love?
Do you?
9) If you've all the time and money in the world, what would you do?
It's gonna ring any time now.
10) If time could go back, what would you do?
Take care of myself and get rid of this ugly semi-bucktooth.
11) What do you wish your partner would be?
A person who can take care of me, and able to take care of themselves, and a huge sexual organ!
12) Which emotion do you dislike?
Uh I wouldn't say any 'cause it's only human to be able to feel, if I had to choose it would be humiliation.
13) Do you cherish all your friendships?
Yes, a lot.
14) Do you believe in love at first sight?
Yeah but I don't think they last.
15) Who do you hope to always be supporting you?
The person I like and my parents.
16) What do you think is essential in life?
Food. Fun. Fuck.
17) People who you'd hate; their personality.
Arie. He's super annoying and no one can stand him; annoying.
Lucius. He's snobbish and arrogant and speaks to his advantage; annoying.
18) 3 people who you adore.
Gwen, she's so cute she takes 20 minutes to kill a cockroach and 20 minutes to flush it down the sink.
Jeremy, he's so small and huggable, not that he'd let me do that but yeah
Gabriel, he's really innocent but he's easily made use of.
19) Describe the previous 3 people who last tagged you.
Gabriel - Semi-retarded.. funny, he doesn't understand sarcasm.. easily made use of? Naive and innocent but that's a good thing. Really devoted to his beliefs and will do anything to uphold them.

Jacq - Uh.. she's really scary when she's mad.

Dayna - She loves to scare people with scary pictures =_=
20) Describe your best friend.
He's a pig.
21) Who do you want to love you and do you deserve to be?
The person I want to love me, and why not :D
22) What are you waiting for now?
Dinner and fetching my dog back :D and ending this quiz it's getting a lil' long.

~ 9/25/2008 01:40:00 PM ~
30th post on this blog :DDDDD Lol. Yeah it's about a month since I've had this blog& it's the first blog I had that survived for so long and I think it'll continue :3

Woke up at 6.23 today, so late again T_____T Slept at 11.30 yesterday so.. yeah that explains. YES LA I KNOW YOU GUYS SLEEP AT 2.30 AM YOU ALL PRO LA =___=

It's so unfair D: They sleep so late but I've a deeper eye-bag than they all do .____. .. Got ready around 6.33, took 10 minutes to get ready. Left house at 6.45. Scared late so I was walking really fast.. met Nick at like 7.10 I think.. he was already on his way then he saw me downstairs lol, first time don't need to wait for that pig. Reached school at 7.17++. Gave MsToh a letter about me having to leave school early today ._____. My mom wrote the letter.. it's in .. really hardcore Chinese D: And amazing MsToh can read O________O Or maybe like Nick said "Too many teachers around dunno also must act know" lol. So bad la he.

Mmm.. POA was first lesson.. lol so fun.. no the lesson's boring, something else was fun.. Justin! That bugger came to sit beside me today lol :D He shared HelloPanda! with me, HE TRYING TO KILL ME SIA. CREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM was inside ittttt. Lol but nevermind la.. won't die de :D We were like looking at the pictures of the panda.. trying to find the one where the Panda plays volleyball but cannot find.. found basketball and football though :D.

Oh yeah,
Regarding the milk-containing consumables, one of the items included was the Cream Bunny Candy Thingy. In order to get sick from that an 8-year old healthy child with working organs no sickness or disease needs to consume more than 23 pieces a day for five consecutive days, eating lesser than 20 pieces for a day will not effectively harm you and will not cause much damage to your health. Some other products are also similar, for example HelloPanda! and other stuffs. Just don't drink FULL CREAM or PURE MILK unless you wanna die :D
Yeah. English lesson, I think MsToh got carried away?(NOT LITERALLY THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE), she was talking about English then she went on talking about irrelevant stuff.. LIKE HER DOUBLE MAJORS, DOUBLE PURE SCIENCES, DOUBLE PURE ENGLISH; LITERATURE BLARH BLARH. Lol she apparently isn't that good in Chinese lulz.


SS, went to sit on Justin's seat and chat with Gwen lol, MADE A "ALMOST PERFECT" HEART! Then recess, went home while Jeremy& the others went off. Went to get the form and signed then my dad drove me home :3 Waved bye to them lol :D! Doggy was inside too.

Brought dog to the vet, she was like so scared.. clinging onto me so hard.. D: She couldn't eat or drink 12 hours before the surgery.. so she's hungry and scared now.. ._____. Hope she'll be okay.

..back home! SLEEP.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008
~ 9/24/2008 09:28:00 PM ~
Woke up around 6.19 today.. SO LATE D: Got ready at 6.33 then walk halfway to train station that time STOMACH ACHE D: Went home& did it then 6.51 left house.. again =.= but God loves me so he decided to rain for me so I won't be counted as late :D Met Nick at 7.10 o_O walked to school together, we were the last to get in the gate I think .____. was so cold today.. &didn't bring my jumper D:

Went up to class lol, teachers had to head to AVA room for a meeting so reading period was on our own, Nick was asked to 'take good care' of the class.

I think I forgot most of what happened today.. uh I only remember during English I got pissed off over something but I forgot it too lol.. well not really forget.. more of don't wanna think of it. Geography, exams over le so most of us didn't bring our books. Moved beside Nick to talk :D.

After school went to show MsPeh our godly eBook.. -.- it sucks so bad ass. It has no pictures or whatsoever only words and words. We got a lashing from her .___. And Nick had to add fire =.= so.. we decided to re-do it, all went to Nick's house to do lol. Ate for about an hour then we started doing.. so boring la.. I din't really help this time 'cause I couldn't be bothered =.= I think it still sucks but at least it's better.. in a day's work! Lol so much excuses :X Oh.. I got raped for like 30 minutes =.= Nick and Marcus was taking turns on me.. -___-.. And Arie was like taking videos of them.. .___. I think Marcus is too hardcore? LOL. Wah.. and today.. I got whacked in the balls for like 3 times =.= #*!$&ing pain la.. Jeremy whack, Marcus whack twice =.=;.. wtf sia Jeremy make me I never disturb me so many times I never do anything he whack me in the balls .__. and then Marcus is just pure violent o_o;

Hope tomorrow rains again, and I'll bring my jumper for sure :D. And it's a half day for me tomorrow! Well not EXACTLY a good thing, I'll be missing lessons again.. and Maths remedial.. IF THERE IS. and all because tomorrow's the day my dog gets sterilized& I wanna be there for her .____. Hope everything goes well :3 And hope MsToh doesn't have anything to say =.=

Decided not to post the long song lyrics 'cause it's like a poser D:!

*おやすみなさい!

*Oyasuminasai - Formal way to say 'Good Night' in Jap.
Informal way would be saying Oyasumi without the endfix.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008
~ 9/23/2008 07:26:00 PM ~
Woke up at 6.15 today. Got ready about .33? Waited for my brother until 40.. reached train station at 55.. reached Gombak's train station at 7.03.

Almost died! Dx Was thinking about something and didn't look at the road.. there was some speeding car coming that almost killed me D: Reached Nick's house at 7.05 I think.. went up the lift, only to once again hear the second lift shutting. Saw his shoes missing so I went down quickly and found him nearby. Wtf he walks super fast =.= Today was Geography, and yesterday I couldn't finish entirely what was about to be tested.. so I continued when we arrived at school, which was about 7.15! There wasn't much people today o_O kind of surprised..

Geography test.. there's only 2 pages! I thought that was Paper A, but that was paper A&B.. I think there were 6 questions together? Some having part a[i][ii] and stuff like that. I wouldn't say it's easy.. but it wasn't that hard.. I expected something much harder? And ironically what I've been studying most —— the development triangle thing didn't come out.. joy.

MsToh's lesson afterwards, we did another English mock paper.. so boring.. it was to time us to finish within 1 hour and 40 minutes. And amazingly I finished within 30 minutes :O Lol, &I even thought Firdaus' watch was spoiled. I bet I've many wrongs though 'cause I didn't really try to do..

Recess.. Nick didn't wait for me again.. was doing Math with Kid. We both went down together. Went to the bench to sit d.. oh wait we didn't. Some fat whore was hogging the entire seat to herself.. We went to staircase, only to find some other whores taking our staircase! Went to fitness corner instead, hot hot hot. Lol, even sitting down would burn our asses. Went behind the pole to sit..

Stupid Nick&Justin had to stay back for POA -.- 'cause one slept during POA and didn't do work. The other idiot(Nick) copied the work and his work was so easily recognized as COPYWORKFAIL. So he had to stay back.. uh boring?

Went to eat after school.. Nick watched me eat lol. Wasn't my fault he didn't wanna eat anything =.= Went to his house to do e-Book.. YES LA AGAIN. And this time we did something. FINALLY. And I just finish'd it when he sent it to me(I did it at home). Originally started doing with Chinese, only to find out I CMI. then switched to English, words I used were too 'chim' for Nick to translate to Chinese but I don't care 'cause I came up with the story anyways :D

Parents came to fetch me home.. lol my mom was talking about the eating of 1.8 kg of watermelon giving the same effect as viagra. She was like "吃完了你的lanjiao站高高了,不过腿都软了什么都做不了。“ I was like LOL. Then we were discussing about the milk scare thing.. lol, she said some obscene things I don't wanna post about =.= Yup that's my mom.

Jap class! Finishing the course soon? Hope I'll do well lol. YES I CAN SPEAK IT 1337 >O.


Today was so weird. I didn't feel so well D: oh yeah, ChocolateMilk is nice. LoFatHiCalYeah.

Next post's gonna be a long post only to be filled with several song lyrics :D to fully vent my emo-fied heart D:! I don't wanna feel sad in class? I wanna be happy and high lol being sad is so boring.

Monday, September 22, 2008
~ 9/22/2008 10:39:00 PM ~
I think I'm gonna die very badly? Can't seem to absorb anything into my brain D: GEOGRAPHY'S SO BORING. I'm like singing while "studying".. then I tell myself "NUUU STOP!" then stop for 2 seconds then sing again =.= Still studying now.. about to sleep.. gonna continue tomorrow.. hope everything goes well.. I DOUBT I'D SLEEP BUT YEAH.. .. mirror mirror hanging on the wall~ you don't have to tell me, who's the greatest fool of all~

~ 9/22/2008 07:52:00 PM ~
SIAN AH. EOY le.. today was English Paper 1 .____. Dunno..

Woke up at 6.00 today.. got ready at .30 and reached train station at 6.40. Wah and shocked to see ZhiMing there la, so early too. Everyday I early he also earlier than me la wth. Feel so stressed sia.. I dunno.. I feel I'm missing something for my exams or something like that.. Get so frustrated when things are disorganized =.= Waited for nick from 6.50 ALL THE WAY TO 7.15 =.= EVEN ALMOST LATE. I swear he's a pig -_____-.. His dog tried to rape me today..? I dunno it was pouncing on me and trying to lick me D: And it kept sniffing my there .___.? Stinky... maybe?

Our very first paper of EOY.. English Paper 1.. was wondering what stupid questions will they set this time.. but hey. It wasn't that stupid this time round! :D uh.. I think these were the questions..

  1. Write about the advantages and disadvantages of studying in groups.
  2. Is it important to adhere school rules?
  3. Write about a time where you became friends with someone you initially hated.
  4. Write about a meaningful outing you had with your friends and the interesting events that took place.
  5. Write about a tourist attraction.
  6. A student's only responsibilty is studying hard and getting good grades. Discuss.
Not all the questions were stupid, some were new topics I've never written before :D I did question 6, though majority of the class did question 3, which they all claimed was easy.. but it's kind of hard.. I couldn't think of what to write for that.. Nick did that as well =.= And he says the guy is anonymous BUT he's "arrogant and complacent"(Me?!). Jeremy did question 1 .___. I think that's the one of the hardest to write about? Not much content there.. Afraid I wrote out of point 'cause I was trying to make it sound more profound T____T

Section B was situational writing.. newsletter! It's pretty easy, all I had to do was underline the title and that's about it.. I think everyone did about the same thing.. Uhhh.. normal cur-curricular activities resume.. why can't we go home =3= Ate noodles as usual.. tastes worse and worse D: Went to meet up and Jeremy&Kid :O Sat at the bench.. just when I sat he was fingering the hole in my pants =.=.. Bell rang.. so fast! D: Didn't even get to rest yet bell ring le..

Sat with Gwen the whole day.. learning how to make hearts and chatting with her.. I FAIL AT MAKING HEARTS T_T They all turn out deformed and I take really long to make one.. deformed heart .___. I've no IQ? o_O

Go home! Was supposed to stay to study with Jacq&co. but.. fucking Nick wanted to go eat =.= then Jeremy also wanna go so we went.. Justin came too! :D ZhiMing as well o_o(he's stalking me?! :X) No la he's not lol o_o Coincidentally met him. Ate at KFC!.. —— again.. uhh.. had fun :D talked about many many stuffs. and how I'm getting touchy recently and starting to detest a lot of people.. (period?!). Lol went to eat ice-cream afterwards.. WTF THE BERRI-LICIOUS MCFLURRY SUCKS. DON'T GO BUY O_O The mudpie is nice though.. threw away the McFlurry D: Ate Justin's 'cause he gave me the other half? :D

Nick also bought strawberry one.. and he continued eating wtf! Kaijyuu*! He says ice-cream all taste the same.. like Strawberry and yam ice cream.. THAT'S SO INSULTING?!

Train-ed home.. didn't feel too good.. was kind of sad after Nick left the train ;0;.. not 'cause I'm gay la =.= just felt weird? o_O OH AND THEY SAID I WATCH GAY PORN WTH D:(how'd they manage to find out I tried to hard to hide LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL jk o_o). They're assholes .___.

Nick tempted me to play dotA sia wtf =.= now studying.. or ATTEMPTING TO STUDY. Hope all goes well tomorrow ._____. Hope it doesn't rain tomorrow ._____. Oh yeah we also saw MsSiew :D Maybe this means I'll pass my test tomorrow lol :3!

*Kaijyuu - Japanese for monster.

Sunday, September 21, 2008
~ 9/21/2008 10:53:00 PM ~
Tomorrow's the first paper of EOY .___. English essay exam.. D: So scary. Doesn't feel like it's even the end of year.. times passes so fast.. and it was like "HAPPY NEW YEAR" yesterday and now it's already September .___.

Went out with mom, been long since we both gone out together alone :D Didn't go far.. just to buy grocery but it was fun lol. Got to buy lots of food :3 Noodles.. enoki-mushrooms.. uh.. twisties!.. PRINGLES! Ice-cream.. chocolate milk x3. A lot of stuff I like. Total cost?! Dunno never look at price D:

Watched anime whole day today D: I hate how people upload them and stop halfway through the series.. DIGIMON 2 STOPS AT 21 WTH. Well not entirely stopped.. the rest of the series are not subbed.. so it's just Japanese w/o subtitles D: I couldn't understand entirely what they were saying =.= Studied formats for the different types of essays that could possibly come out tomorrow.. there's not much to study.. but I feel like I'm missing something.. or that I'm not working hard enough. BUT THERE'S NOT MUCH TO STUDY D:

Looking for study groups to study with D: I found several.. Jacq and her friends.. and Nick :D ShiHui&Kid too :D I'm gonna make it for Sec4 no matter what .____. &I need a CHINESE DICTIONARY DAMNIT!

Hope everything goes well tomorrow :D HOPE I CAN WAKE UP TOMORROW. Good luck for exams!

~ 9/21/2008 12:51:00 AM ~
Yup.. I took a quiz o_o

Quiz was pretty simple as it is.. I was told to select my gender, then to pick colours by clicking on them, first one being your favourite, I had to pick 8 colours. Picked them.. now they asked me to repick the colours, I picked back the same colours, and again —— first one being my favourite. The results was.. ..

Under considerable stress due to the demands of the existing situation. Trying to extricate himself from the things which restrict him or tie him down. Is responsive to outside stimuli and wants to experience everything intensely, but is finding the existing situation extremely frustrating. Needs sympathetic understanding and a sense of security. Distressed by his apparently powerlessness to achieve his goals.

Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity but is inclined to be emotionally withdrawn, which prevents him from becoming deeply involved.

Believes that he is not receiving his share--that he is neither properly understood or adequately appreciated. Feels that he is being compelled to conform, and close relationships leave him without any sense of emotional involvement.

Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense. Able to obtain physical satisfaction from sexual activity but tends to hold aloof emotionally.

Circumstances are forcing him to compromise, to restrain his demands and hopes, and to forgo for the time being some of the things he wants. He needs a way of escape from all that oppresses him and is clinging to vague and illusory hopes.

Agitation, unpredictability, and irritation accompanying depleted vitality and intolerance of further demands have all placed him in a position in which he feels menaced by his circumstances. Feeling powerless to remedy this by any action of his own, he is desperately hoping that some solution will provide a way of escape. Intensely critical of the existing conditions which he feels are disorganized or insufficiently clear-cut. Is therefore seeking some solution which will clarify the situation and introduce a more acceptable degree of order and method.

Uh.. I guess I'm a really horny person? O_o 'cause it says I like sexual activities.. Yeah I guess it's pretty accurate :X

Friday, September 19, 2008
~ 9/19/2008 11:23:00 PM ~
Went to school today! Woke up at 6.00, lol :D Felt damn refreshed today. Maybe 'cause I didn't go to school yesterday. Waited for my brother until 6.35..

Reached Nick's house around 6.55? Didn't bother to wait 'cause it's gonna take forever so I went on without him. Arrived at school at 7.05 I think.. Nick was almost late, came in at last minute.

Started the day with P.E. Played badminton with Nick and ChoonCheng, -.- never got to rally more than 5 times 'cause Nick wouldn't focus, oh and it rained today.. but it was still really humid though.. annoying weather. Chinese, so boring. MsPeh seems to hate me now): Asked GuanChin to teach me how to make a heart BUT IT'S SO HARD D: Only made two. Maths, learnt new thing called Cyclic Quadrilateral I think.. really easy so I got it almost immediately :D

Recess, didn't get to eat 'cause I had to change.. Nick and Jeremy didn't ask me to go with them to change during PE =__=. Assholes. But at least Nick remembered to buy me a burger(which tasted like shit BUT THANKS ANYWAYS).

English, don't wanna talk about it -.- super crappy. Geography. Stayed back for.. nothing? Learnt.. nothing..? Wasted my time.. shouldn't have even stayed back. Went home with Nick&Kid. Went to eat KFC then went to Comic's to buy straws :D

Now at home.. making Gwen teach me over MSN but she sucks even more on the net -______-.. gonna go to her house on Monday to learn :D Who am I making the hearts for? My mom& my friends. But at least I managed to make a heart under Gwen's superb teaching on MSN.. a rather deformed heart.. BUT IT'S MY FIRST INDEPENDENT ACCOMPLISHMENT so yay me.

EOY exams coming.. don't feel like EOY yet o_o.. Sigh.. MUGGING TIME.

Yeaah.. this post is so boring DX Will upload pictures tomorrow :D

Thursday, September 18, 2008
~ 9/18/2008 11:00:00 PM ~
Didn't go to school today :D! Why? 'Cause I woke up late today .___. Kind of a good thing, also bad.

Woke up at 6.45 today, my brother didn't wake me up =.= Couldn't wake up by myself today 'cause I was dead tired the night before& I couldn't sleep well, partially thanks to Dayna's horror picture @_@ Got ready by 7.. but I would've been late if I went to school so I decided not to. So I went back to sleep.. half naked :D

Woke up.. again at 3+ O_O So late.. wanted to go for maths remedial but woke up late so yeah :D;;. Nothing much happened today.. cooked Japanese curry today :D added beef inside. IT WAS SUPER NICE *0* I even took a picture of it but will upload tomorrow. Played games with Nick.. then ate again :D then still hungry.. went to cook noodles.. eat le then whole body was like burning. Went to bathe.. almost died -.- freaking hot la my whole body T__T Wonder what's wrong& the weather's so warm recently.. hope it rains soon.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008
~ 9/17/2008 10:10:00 PM ~
Woke up at 6.15 today& got ready by .22, took my time and reached Nick's house about 6.55.. waited for him for 10 minutes.. but nevermind! I got used to it =.= Reached school at dunno what time but we weren't late, that's all I know. NICK KILLED A LIZARD. Well no.. Devin killed it accidentally but Nick 'accidentally/coincidentally' squashed it's head.. .. ;;. MsToh didn't show up during reading period so Firdaus was really really happy, he was like celebrating with Qayyum lol.

So yeah, MsToh didn't come. Not only Firdaus was happy everyone else was. Justin didn't come again.. so I took his seat for half the day and chat with Gwen again. Hope Justin gets well soon. Wanted her to continue teaching me how to make a PROPER heart but she didn't have any straw..

Maths, surprisingly I understood everything MrsToh was talking about .______. I did my work pretty fast as well :D Recess, did same 'ol. There was a fight I think.. not gonna elaborate 'cause I'm not pretty sure about the details o_o It was scary anyways.

Geography.. uh good news! Three people in A1 passed the test! Bad news.. the other twenty of the class failed.. Highest was .. once again Lucius.. then Jeremy(SHOW OFF D: LOL) and then KerSing I think.. well it wasn't good passes BUT AT LEAST THEY PASSED .____. So gay.

Went to eat with Nick at Maccas' then went up to his house.. ATTEMPTED TO DO E-BOOK BUT HE WAS LIKE TRYING TO PLAY DOTA INSTEAD. So we did a total of 4 slides! Only to find out we did it in Word.. so we have to move everything to PPSlide.

Jacqueline's watching OuranHigh, :D And she likes Hikaru&Kaoru like me :D. Blog-hopped to Dayna's blog.. her.. .. recent post is scary T_______T .. she should've put a warning sign beside the picture.. now I'm like spooked out .. if I can't sleep tonight then it's her fault D:

HER FAULT!!!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008
~ 9/16/2008 10:07:00 PM ~
Woke up at 6.11 today, but waited for my brother 'til 6.40.. wasn't late but had to rush a little. As usual I went to meet Nick and he took his time. Reached school just when the gate was closing. Wanted to use toilet but people was inside smoking so I went to the parade square anyways.. then after the ceremony MsPoon caught my hair and asked me to go see MrMustafa T___T I swear she picks on me& she didn't catch anyone else.. D: But nevermind.. couldn't find MrMustafa and I reaaaaaally needed the toilet so I went to the toilet.. then halfway heard announcement got my name.. but it wasn't clear so I ignored and went back to class only to find out it was my name.

Nevertheless I still stayed in class.. then awhile later MsLim came to see me& asked me to go downstairs lor.. then MrMustafa was there waiting to cut hair -.-... then they cut the back of my hair that time I could feel they were cutting it straight like a ruler -.- so I stood up and quarrelled& a lot of stuff then went off 'cause MsLim gave me a day to cut my hair.. slept during Math cause I was super tired.. SS was boring.. went to chat with Gwenda instead. We decided to fail the piece of assignment given to us today together :D

Recess, lunch-ed with Nick and Marcus as usual, went to meet up with Jeremy and Kid at the bench again. They were like talking about me hair T__T say look like China man(glares at Nick). But it's not THAT bad okay? -.- Went to Jeremy's house after school, did 40 pages of Physics -____-.. 23 more to go.. Was doing for quite long then fell asleep .. .___. woke up at 6.30 WTF. Slept for 2.5 hours.. in someone else's house -.- Woke up then leg numb, contact lenses was dry too o__o Bus-ed home. Went to cut hair afterwards. Today is officially. BAD HAIR DAY! Literally!

Monday, September 15, 2008
~ 9/15/2008 08:23:00 PM ~
Woke up at 6.19 today.. got ready for school at about 6.33.. was it then it started to drizzle and flashes of lightning could be seen every few seconds -.- Didn't bring an umbrella so I had to rush over to the train station, thankfully my entire journey to the station was sheltered, well almost. I wasn't that wet when I was there.

Reached Nick's house around 7.00.. one of the earliest he's ever left his house ==;; Grabbed two umbrellas and headed off for school. Reached there around 7.15, we went straight to class since it was raining and obviously —— MsToh isn't there yet.. well not until attendance taking and all the hard labor's done. Reading period, tried to do my Physics workbook as much as possible but MsToh stoped me anyways.. After that was.. Maths I think.. learned something new today, understood fully.. only problem's the way to identify the triangles and stuff like that.

Then it was Geography, MsSiew didn't come today so we had free period& MrYang relieved the period. Did some of the workbook there. Physics, like usual sucks and I was half asleep.

Recess! Went to eat.. the upper upper sec`s aren't having their prelims today so the entire cafeteria was bombarded. Took more than 5 minutes to buy our food. After eating we went to meet up with Jeremy and the others at a bench, spent the rest of the recess laughing at MsToh's obesity and many stuff relating to that.

Uh.. went back to class.. being half-carried! Marcus and Nick was like carrying me.. or attempting to, dragging me along the way as they walked back to class. Was fun though, singing out loud while getting dragged. Chinese class.. fucking boring so I decided to talk to Marcus for the entire lesson.. oh yeah, Justin wasn't feeling very well today. His pores had been standing ever since recess and his body was really cold, he was also shivering and had a slight fever. Hope he gets well soon :/
Okay.. so we were talking.. then we got MsPeh pissed off.. She's been really touchy recently but whatever -______-.

The rest of the day in school sucked, went to computer lab for POA, the lab sucked bad ass, never liked going there.. something bad would always happen. And as expected something bad did happen. We couldn't print our work properly so we left it to MsZhang to help us, THANKS! Jeremy also helped us with most of the part on balancing sheet, so THANKS AS WELL. Unlike Nicholas who's ever so helpful. Has been doing nothing but annoying me endlessly and burping in my face.. almost puked.. Oh and the 'guardian' of the computer lab.. what's her name. I'll just call her "ugly black shit". She dresses up like a fucking nigger whore and she barks like a fucking dog. Apparently she's blind she couldn't see we were still working on our work and she asked us to get out when we've finished. As if we like to stay there -.- The computers are crap and the printers are bullshit.

Went home with Nick, Marcus and Jeremy. Supposedly going to eat but Jeremy back'd out anyways. So it was only three of us. Went to eat KFC. Didn't wanna spend much so I went to buy some cheap stuff to eat o___o But Nick wasn't hungry so he gave me his burger anyway :D Wanted to buy ice-cream but I didn't anyways..

Watched Digimon until 8.20, episode 44 now! But episode 45 to 55 IS MISSING. So I'm gonna watch Digimon TWO. :D

往跟多幸福的地方飞去。很爱很爱你。

Sunday, September 14, 2008
~ 9/14/2008 09:18:00 PM ~
Lantern Festival today! Everything I did was totally irrelevant to the festival but twice as fun.

Woke up at 10.45 thanks to Nick's constant spamming of messages to my mom asking if I've woken up 'cause we're going out today. Was so damn tired, didn't wanna get up and get anywhere but I did anyways.. washed up and .. forgot what I did but I got ready at about 12.55.. when we're supposed to meet at 12.45! But seems like Nick's used to my often late-coming-ness so he hasn't prepared to leave until I have. Oh yeah, I remember now. I was pissed off 'cause I couldn't find proper clothing to wear to go out, and my "beloved" brother wore my slippers out because his was "very uncomfortable" so I had to wear my school shoe with weird clothing.. I looked like a dickhead T_____T.

On my way to CCK's train station I was cursing my brother.. walking really fast and I was sweating like shit.. some guy walked I walked pass who was talking to his friend was like "lan jiao knn ccb" which got me even more pissed off so I kind of stared at him .. didn't know I could be that scary.

Met Nick at Gombak station, train-ed to Jurong entertainment, Kbox-ed for the entire day. Sang 'til our heart's content and ate to our heart's content too :D Really helped me a lot, since I've been pretty sad recently, I could really relate to some of the songs I sang 'cause they're exactly the way I felt then. &the food really helped out, as well, we had Ebi-Fry again lol :D. We had ice-cream before we went home, so yeah. IT'S ANOTHER NICE DAY! We had Mc-Flurry o_o They've a new flavour, Mudpie Chocolate& Berri-licious. Omg the strawberry was tempting but I tried the Chocolate one first, as well as Nick. Tasted like.. chocolate? Really chocolate-ty. Not my kind of taste.. It's gonna kill my throat if I eat it everyday.

Gained weight.. 54 to 60 T__T Better stop eating too much.. Saw a group of family with their grandma watching the moon thru. a telescope. Looked so fun, the children was like trying to be the first, but one of their fathers said “让ah-ma先看,然后到你们." Then I went over and asked "ah ma! 可以先让我看一下吗?! 谢谢!" They were really nice, they let me look thru. the telescope. The moon looked really beautiful from the lenses. Illuminating the world, reaaaaally peaceful.

Went home, turned on the computer and watched Digimon again! YAMATO'S SO CUTE :3.
Now blogging.. and going to sleep! I DIDN'T DO PHYSICS T__T CHIACHIA'S GONNA KILL ME. but whatever.

Oyasuminasai!

Friday, September 12, 2008
~ 9/12/2008 07:33:00 PM ~
It's my first time stripping my pride to love someone this way, I've never felt this way before, liking you so much even when it's so wrong. I try to be with you every time but I'm not allowed to 'cause it's wrong for the two of us to be together, I try to get close to you, only to face rejection. Even though I know you'd just be cold towards me, I still did many things for you unconditionally. I'm controlled as if I'm chained up and whipped.

You're like a star to me, so high up, so high I can never reach you.
I can only stare at you from a far.

Every time you're not there, I would ask everyone where you went, where you are.
I'd watch you from a distance, and when you notice me I would look away, but I believe
you've already noticed me.. you look into my eyes, as if you feel the same way. I believed
in that, only to find out that it wasn't.

You toyed with my feelings from three years back, randomly approaching me whenever you like,
as if I'm a toy meant to be played with. I thought I meant something to you, you talk
to your friends about me, but hardly mention anything else. You never speak to
me about anything besides work or you would just leave a comment that didn't really mean
much.

Whenever you say something that upsets me, I would be sad the whole day.
I would brood over what you'd say and think about it non-stop.
Not only that, every single day I think of you. Think about what
you think of me. Thinking if you're thinking of me too.
Think about what you're doing now, who you're with and where you are.
Thinking if I mattered to you.

To only find the answer to be no. You behave as if you feel mutual about
me, you also behave nonchalant and indifferent to me.
Loving you is a pain and caused me to suffer much.

I went overseas for an entire month —— having to make up excuses
that I went 'cause my parents sent me there —— to try to forget you.
It worked.. but when I'm back to school, I see you and once again,
you caressed my face. And there goes the entire month of attempting.

Now I'm back into the wheel of redemption, trying
hard to forget you all over again.
Hurting myself everyday, however painful, I still try to
make it to school everyday, just to see your face.

I would help you do almost anything, just like
a guy would to his girlfriend, but I can't because
I don't know what you're thinking, if you'd like it or not.
What would others think if they saw both of us together,
because it's wrong.

You're so close to me, yet so far. Sometimes you
come really close to me, both physically and emotionally.
But yet.. you still felt really distant from me.
Sometimes I feel we're as close as a couple. And once again, I cannot
be one with you because.. it's forbidden - literally.

You lied down on the same bed as me once,
we were that close, yet still. I couldn't feel you like
you were beside me.

But it seems like now, I'm gonna have to seriously try to forget you, even though
it's gonna hurt, and seem impossible. But still, I'll have to.

Sometimes I really hate you.

Such gay love.

Thursday, September 11, 2008
~ 9/11/2008 10:46:00 PM ~
Woke up at 6.28 today, made it to Nick's house early today, so I waited for him a bit. Reached school pretty early as well, so we had time to sit and cool down before we start the ceremony.

Did nothing much today.. school's a dick as usual. Too lazy to write down the sequences today.. so I'll just pass on.

Stay'd back for Math remedial.. didn't really learn anything. Mayn't stay back the next remedial anymore unless it's something I don't really know. After that we went home, walked with Jacq and her friends, Dayna and YiShan. We walked to GombakStation, they were hungry so we went to eat at some reaaaaaally warm "restaurant(?)". It was freaking hot.. and Dayna sure was taking her time. It's really weird how they refuse to eat chicken wings with their hands "cause it will dirty my hand ma". I've tissues and they could clean their hands with it, instead they rather take 10 minutes to eat a single piece. Accidentally called YiShan a "thing".. so she was staring at me in a pretty menacing manner. Seems like Jacq and her bunch of friends like to do that when they're pissed or if you've stepped on a land-mine. Train-ed homes afterwards. Nothing much happened, dead tired BYE.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008
~ 9/10/2008 10:20:00 PM ~
Woke up at 6.45 today.. super scared late for school so I rushed there. But turns out I still have time to meet Nick and stroll to school o____o. On the way with him we met MsYanti lol, walk while chatting with her.. and Nick said some bad stuff about MsToh and MsYanti told on him to her lol :X We wouldn't be late anymore cause we're walking with a teacher! And she's pretty slow so we could take our time.

Didn't really like today much, despite the happy start of the day. Had to go through lots of bad stuff.. mental torment .____. So I was pretty quiet in class today.. MsToh, apparently still holding a grudge over yesterday, had finally decided to take a look at my hair(which wasn't even that long in the first place) and sent me over to MrMustafa. She sent me and a bunch of my friends along to keep me "company". But we ran away anyway, didn't bother cause my hair isn't long to begin with.

Went back to class, Physics was the first lesson, was kind of relieved that I could take a nap in class since it's Physics.. but fuck MrChia got me to stand up for the entire lesson.. moved me around the class as well, wasn't feeling very well and was hella tired.. then found out there's Geography test, oh joy. Borrowed a book from Nick to study.. couldn't get anything in my head though.

Released for recess, nowadays we're always released really early. So we have the luxury of enjoying our lunch while owning the entire cafeteria. But the two physics workbooks wouldn't stop hounding me.. had to buy them, so I did.

Went to sit at our usual place.. watched ZongKai play soccer w/Marcus. Didn't really looked like he was enjoying though. Continuously having to climb back and forth to retrieve the ball -____- Kind of upset as well, Jeremy said my hair didn't look good T___T That was yesterday but yeah it's sad that he said it anyway, still brooding over what he said CAUSE IT REALLY MATTERS TO ME. Went back to class.. recess went pass reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally fast.

I think it was Engreesh class.. yeah I'm so gonna enjoy this.. apparently she haven't finished her bullshit yesterday so she's gonna continue today, meanwhile I'll be copying POA notes 8 times over, which I managed to within her bell-graph session! Somehow.. I feel that copying notes is really fun, I've nothing to do anyways.. and it'll numb the pain and boredom so yeah.. After that she decided to break us up into groups.. only to find out that I'm actually workin' in a pair.. and not a group. She obviously hates me now so she put me with one of the brightest student in our class. Wonder what's inside that thick layer of fats, prolly full of shit. But yeah at least she didn't move me to Reuel so THANK GOD. Don't think I'm gonna remain as a pair since there's six adsentees today.. so we're probably gonna get a full group of four members.

Geography class.. MsSiew revised with us before she gave us the test.. didn't really help but yeah at least she tried.. the test wasn't that hard.. wasn't that easy either. Didn't really know how to read the triangular graph.. but I think I'll pass?(I hope). Went to Nick's house 'cause I was lazy to go home -.- Train-ed home at 5.58. It was like congested with people.. and lucky me! Two obese fat-asses were beside me.. so I was sweating like shit, trying hard not to touch them.. they were like leaning on my entire body.. I could hardly breathe.. constantly molested by people around me -___-. Went home walking.. I bought an ice-cream so the day was enjoyable when it ended I guess.

Today's physical contact with was 0% —— again.. seems like we're drifting apart.

Severed bonds
distorted
by fate.

~ 9/10/2008 04:30:00 PM ~
POSTING AT NICK'S HOUSE.

O M G SO SHUANG :D

Didn't feel like going home so here I am posting thru his comp. Hungry so I got him to cook me.. I mean —— Get his maid to cook me something. Watched him play warcraft .. never got to see one game that ended.. he likes to bully his dog a lot -.- he slaps his dog and kicks it out of his way.. he attempted to clear up the table after finishing.. he couldn't balance the chopsticks and had to pause every step LOL cracked me up. Felt freaking tired.. wanted to sleep but it was late.. had to go -___-.. Train-ed home, saw MsNeo lol o_o She looks like a regular neighbourhood aunty when she's not in school.

Really bo liao post. Just wanted to post thru someone's elses comp to see what it's like :D

Tuesday, September 9, 2008
~ 9/09/2008 08:54:00 PM ~
Woke up at 5.50 today.. scared late so I rushed to school anyways, went to meet Nick and went to school together, that pig left home at 7.05+. Reached school about 7.15. Awkward hairstyle made me reeeeaaaaaaaally uneasy. Started off the day with a boring lesson.. then finally recess, went to eat :D Didn't feel very happy after recess time. Saw some annoying stuff that got me kind of upset .___.

I also found out I 'lost' my theory workbook(s).. lost Winnie's as well.. well not really lost.. it just disappeared.. IT'S SUPPOSED TO STAY IN THE CUPBOARD BUT THEY RAN AWAY. So.. as punishment I've to buy 2 workbooks and re-do them.. oh joy.

English lesson, MsToh's late.. once more -_____-.. She went through, once again, useless stuff the fourth time.. so I decided I'm not gonna listen to her crap and went to sleep.. only to wake up hearing the first few words '.. do not respect complacent people at all'. Well some self-respect she has there.

Technically everyone who's awake(apparently I was the only one sleeping) was talking among themselves anyway, those who have no one to talk to was dreaming.. so how different is that from sleeping anyways. She continuously repeats the same useless 'techniques u will definitely nid on righting an gud assay!'.

Today's physical contact with was - 0%

Sunday, September 7, 2008
~ 9/07/2008 04:40:00 PM ~
School starts tomorrow.. NOOOO. Don't wanna go back.. didn't do homework either.. so I'm prolly gonna get told-off tomorrow.. school sucks D:. Went to cut hair today, was pretty good.. nothing really went wrong so I'm actually kind of pleased :D

Mom's cooking dinner now.. she spent 400 just now on crystals -.-.. Could've gotten me a new graphic card.. or something I wanted, but noooo. Waiting for Nick to get on.. got somethin'to say to him! Found a few new words on dictionary.. mm.. my dog's fur is almost back now. :D Will post pictures when they fully grow out.

Did I mention? —— SCHOOL SUCKS.

Saturday, September 6, 2008
~ 9/06/2008 11:23:00 PM ~
Woke up at 10+ today, finally back on normal time.. school's starting really soon, holidays pass really fast.. Supposed to cut my hair today.. but I went there late.. no thanks to my brother and then the salon closed so.. I didn't cut my hair :X Suggested going to sing K with my brother but he didn't want to.. went to the library to return his books, wasted my time there.. but found a pretty nice book. Wanted to borrow it but he had very shiny overdue fees which din't allow him to borrow anymore books -.-

Started watching Digimon again :D It's like so cute, watched 23 episodes today.. gonna continue moar. Uh.. yeah gonna have supper now.. damn hungry! BYE.

Friday, September 5, 2008
~ 9/05/2008 03:39:00 PM ~
Today sucks.

Did absolutely nothing today.

Had 3 individual arguments with 3 different people.

Thursday, September 4, 2008
~ 9/04/2008 05:34:00 PM ~
Nothing up today.. just woke up not long, about 5.10 I think. Had breakfast.. lunch**.

Asked YahTing to send me pictures of yesterday, WHICH MEANS I'LL BE UPLOADING THEM :D.

Nothing much.. prolly gonna play a few games or somethin'..

Wednesday, September 3, 2008
~ 9/03/2008 09:43:00 PM ~
Today was BEST FRIEND FOREVER DAY(BFF). But fuck I forgot today was the third.. so I was late like.. hella long. SORRY AGAIN D: Late for 2 hours this time.. Didn't even know T-T

Woke up about 9.25.. not sure why I woke up so early but nowadays I keep sneezing when I wake up and I can't go back to sleep ==; Played PSP - Digimon World 1 for awhile.. and then turned on computer and started uploading pictures I took on S1.. then my mom told me she received a message from YahTing saying she's at the MRT station and have I left my house yet, and that I'm supposed to meet her at 12.50.. fucking shocked me. I told my mom that was 2 days ago, on KBox day. But she said the date was today.. kena shocked .. faster grab my clothes from my cupboard& threw them to my mom, go bathe and stuff.

Woke my dad up and asked him to drive me there but he said he'll only drive me to CCK ==; Reached at 3+.. Saw them at BoonLay MRT station the lift there.. damn PS they waited for me .. 2 HOURS THIS TIME T______T Rush all the way to try catch the 3.15 Wall-E show. Managed to reach there.. damn tired and then Jacq said "我们还是看四点的吧。。“ Lol wtf.. we rush there then watch 4 pm one.. -.- so we had about an hour.. went into Arcade and saw some scary game.. some boy and girl was playing it, quite pro lol.

Realized I didn't bring enough money for everything I wanted to do(damned ez-link card).. was like fucking hungry.. saw all the good food around me and was reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally(really really really) tempted.. CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE so we went to eat LongJohn's. Had Combo 1 with YahTing, Jacq didn't eat.. she say she full liao at home eat le. YahTing also ordered Clam Chowder(Tasted like.. clam.. ..=.=), shared with her the soup lol. Not bad la then played PSP for awhile then went to catch movie.

WALL-E! Lol really cute show, lazy to talk about it and don't wanna spoil it for anyone so.. Wall-E's a good movie so go watch.

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SPOILER! Do not strain eyes to read if you do not want the movie to be spoiled! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Wall-E works as a full-time garbage "cleaner" robot, as he's the only human/robot on Earth, his only compainion, a really cute cockroach(ironically the roach looks like a cock LOL).

A rocket then lands shortly after.. Wall-e explores and got burnt by the flames twice.. he then saw Eve who almost vaporized him with her laser O_O.

Guess it's love at first sight.. Wall-E falls for Eve almost instantaneously.

Eve later founds what she's here for, a living plant to prove that the Earth is able to support life again! And returns back.. "Directive!".

Wall-E hangs onto the spaceship that brought Eve back , a 5 year cruise on a space ship filled with fucking obese pigs that cannot move and has.. bones that doesn't work.

Lazy to say more.. PS: MO IS SO CUTE!

Lol, first time in my life I finished pop-corn all by myself(with some help from Jacq but MOSTLY by myself :D). Though I din't pay for it.. felt quite guilty BUT I WILL PAY FOR IT! JP's pop-corn is awesome.. it's so nice and sweet and chewy.

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Went to PizzaHut to eat.. Jacq had her personal Hawaiian pizza, while me and YahTing shared a 6 slice Hawaiian pizza, I had 2 huge pieces and 1 small, YahTing had 2 small pieces(SHE GIVE ME ONE AH NOT I TAKE). After that Jacq decided to order dessert.. she ordered WarmChocolateCake with VanillaIceCream, IT- WAS- FUCKING- GOOD :D. The combination of hot and cold was great, for $6.50!

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Me playing PSP while waiting

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HERE COMES FOOD :O

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This was the awesome dessert we had :D

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After we finished ><;
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Went to Toys-R-Us to play.. fun fun :D, people stared at us.. but still fun. Then back to the arcade, tried to fish out the Panda-version of Pooh but FAILED! I SWEAR THAT THING EATS MONEY! Then went home by MRT. AWESOME BFF DAY WILL HAVE ANOTHER ONE AFTER EXAMS!

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Need to cut hair soon.. don't feel like it.. BYE BYE FRINGE.

about me


; Hillgrove Secondary
; 4A1
; 16 this year
; Gemini
; 16June93
; Single, but not available
; Very bhb

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; Jacqueline
; Dayna
; Nick
; MsChong

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