Common test today, papers were English essay writing, Chinese comprehension and Social Studies.
Was pretty okay, for the first two papers at least. English was supposed to be report writing, or at least that's what MrTeo told us. Until there was a change where he "who was full of integrity" didn't try to peek at the new script and tell us. Turned out to be continuous writing. Wrote on a question about "Ways to improve in grades other than private tutors." The other questions were lacking and had nothin' to write on them.

Social Studies next, studied for it and managed to answer the questions. But I don't think I'll get anything high this time 'cause I lazed off at the end, skipping some parts.

Then came the third paper, Chinese. Horrible. Three papers in a row is torture, lazed off the entire thing. Skipped most questions and randomly answered MCQs. And I'm now a candidate with Marcus&Dayna on who gets the lowest marks. And the one who gets highest among us three treads to SAKAE SUSHI :D

Ate at PastaMania later on, totally regret. Gonna skip about it, had ice cream at Maccas afterwards. Which I took about 20 minutes to eat one. x_x

Trained to Nick's house. Played with the dogs, turned on air-con and songs and then slept. All three of us, Dayna, Nick and me. Had dinner there as well, and then went home. Supposed to DotA with them now, which they are. But was too laggy so I left. D: Sorry.

Skipped school today 'cause my eyes were swollen for an unknown reason, only my left eye strangely. Was good anyways, kind of needed a break from the long week. Had an extra hour of sleep, woke up a 7.50. The sky was clear blue when I woke up; however inside was gray and raining.

I thought I could manage alone, but it doesn't seem like it anymore. I thought I would get over it, but I don't think I can. I thought it wouldn't affect me much, yet my life's upside down now. Tried to not think about things by playing DotA, but yeah; it didn't work.

Then played DotA with Nick, a little different this time. Every now and then I would feel droplets of water rolling off my face and dripping.

I guess this is it. It's over now; rain after sunshine. And I can't change anything anymore.

Solved Jacqueline and Dayna's problem for them. Dayna initially didn't have the guts to tell or even, look Jacqueline in the face. Well.. used my own style of reverse psychology and managed to persuade her to do so. Maybe I'm like Eden in 'Heroes!" :D With the power of persuasion. That'd be cool. But what I would really want is Claire Bennet's power: The ultimate regeneration(saisei).

Funny how.. I solve people's problems so easily. Yet I can't do a thing for myself. Went up to CCK park again.. this time no sadness. As promised. We came in smiles with Jacqueline this time.

But yeah.. I'm happy my friends aren't quarreling anymore.. but the pain inside me is about to blow off.

Stayed with Nick for POA, then waited for Dayna after that.. had dinner with him and YueChao at WM, then came back to school to fetch Dayna. Walked home from Gombak to CCK with her and Nick.. talked about many stuffs. About her problems with Jacqueline. Funny how the words I use to counsel her, I cannot do it myself. Yet I say it so easily. Inside I know I sound hypocritical.. but yeah.. it's not that easy. And I know it.

In any case.. spent the day with her until 8 PM, or around there. At CCK park on the high pavilion thing. It was really.. serene.. and there were many stars, only one at first. Dayna pointed out that that star was her. As a pun for her chinese name with the character inside. She probably felt alone as there weren't any other stars. But after a few hours, many other stars appeared and I said that she wasn't alone, and there're all of us around her. Many of her good friends. The atmosphere was right, the right time to cry things out. And so I teared. Tears falling off my chin every few second or the other, Dayna also cried, adding on to the atmosphere. Then after we camwhore'd we left, and promised ourselves that the next time we come. We're not gonna be in tears, but smiling and we'll bring Jacqueline along as well.

And Nicholas could only watch us. Camwhore'd after that to brighten up the mood, pictures are at Dayna's blog! If you're not allowed in her blog then TOO BAD LOSER.

Another day of awkward silence in class; we're not talking anymore. Not one to one, and hardly in groups. That's good anyway.. in a sense. This kind of relationship is wrong anyway, so we're better off just keeping quiet.
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Appetite wasn't good these few days.. everything tasted bland ever since. Regret telling Nick about it.. and got to know the truth. Which I somewhat expected since two years ago, but didn't wanna hear it from himself but I guess that can't be helped. It would eventually come anyways.

Ironically.. I didn't feel relieved at all. I always thought the burden on my heart was this, and now that it's solved the load would be lifted. But.. no. It's even more confusing now.

Stayed with Dayna&Nick during recess, spouted out a chinese idiom subconsciously.

“天有不测风云，人有旦夕祸福。”

He said his biggest “福” was Dayna, and I asked why's it such that when people love others it's considered a fortunate thing. Yet not in my case, I asked “为什么别人爱的那么幸福？我却爱得那么痛苦？“, he didn't give a definite answer but.. I guess. I guess that's why way it is. But in any case.. it's all over now; rain after sunshine. Nothing's gonna change that. And I can't accept it.. not now at least - yet.

And nowadays.. crying doesn't help the strain on my heart anymore. Eating doesn't brighten my day. Gelare doesn't even look appetizing anymore.

Today was.. horrible. Weather was warm, awkward silence in class. Profusly sweating every few seconds, beadlets of perspiration would fall from my chin, yes it's that fucking hot. Especially when you're trying to do Math with your brain cells constant killed.

Then just when you thought "Omg, finally. It's over". Your English teacher grows through some really simple English clauses that humans instinctively know as they grow up speaking English.

Nick had detention today.. helped him accompany Dayna until she had her Chemistry remedial with Ducky, along the way we met Celia. Who.. has the habit of pulling people's bag straps as she walk behind them, weighing them down. Ducky was cruelly tortured by her, then Dayna asked Celia to be harsher D: Evil. Then Ducky broke free from her and started torturing Dayna herself.

Mm.. then we met Yishan. Talked with her for awhile.. then went to SubWay and had lunch/dinner/whatever. Went home afterwards..

Second time walking home in tears. Don't know why either, thinking too much about things and stress from life. Too much'uva load for me to handle. And I'm hardly 16. Life sucks. Life sucks. Life sucks. You're born into this world to suffer and die. Then repeat process through reincarnation. Suffer, die, suffer, die. There's nothing much to life other than that.

Or that's just my current pessimistic point of view of the world currently on impulse. But yeah, in a way life sucks.

Happy Valentine's Day.
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Watched 'Titanic' on TV, been like.. a few years since I last watched it. Teared while watching 'cause it was sad when Jack died. Other than that I did nothing much today cause Money munched up my PS2 controller wires. =_=

Watching 'Heroes' with my brother nao.
"Hi! My name is Hiro Nakamura and I come from the future, I'm here to save your life" for the lulz O:

Right.. now to get myself a "I survived Valentine's Day alone!" T-shirt.

Went to school without Nick&Dayna today 'cause I was afraid I would be late, didn't wanna go for detention again so I went ahead without them. Nick didn't come after all, overslept. And Dayna wasn't late either, but almost.

Anyways.. brought my camera to school today, was supposed to print photos.. but I couldn't find the cable so I just brought it anyway, took pictures of people in class, a very unsporting MrMarcusTeo wouldn't allow me to use it in class to take pictures, but on the contrary MrFederickHo allowed me to take a picture of him.

Took pictures of Justin.. Marcus.. Yongjie.. Lucius.. and Jeremy. The rest were all "camera shy" and ran off when I tried to snapshot. D: Will post pictures tomorrow.
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Valentine's Day tomorrow. Wish Nick&Dayna a happy Valentine's Day. Same for Justin&Georgina. Gabriel, and also Jeremy with his girlfriend. And for me, I'll just spend my day with Money O: Gonna sleep nao, night.

No I did not cry. (:

Valentine's day in eight days time, like.. most of the guys in class are talking about it. 'Cept me, again. Even Gabriel.

Probably gonna be alone on that day then, like any other day.
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Today sucked, got scolded by MsSiew for no big reason. Spent recess alone on the bench. Went home in tears. Unbearable feeling, bottling up feelings for four years, and people really do go crazy when they bottle up too much. I can tell 'cause I've been crying for no reason and've been really fragile recently.

Sounds like what a girl would do, but screw that.. sudden urge to shout out loud, and sing at kBox. But'll have to wait after common test. Having to pretend everyday though the person is right beside you everyday. It's not like I don't wanna forget, but you can't forget someone you see everyday other day. Been misled since the previous years, and recently, specifically today; found out that it'll never be possible. And even so eight days later.

Almost cried on the train home, but forced the tears back. Felt really weak and tired today, so I took the bus home instead.. only to find the bus only having me on it. Quiet, sobbing through the entire journey. Took one whole round back to my house, though I could've allighted fourteen stops ago. But I felt I needed the time I be left alone anyways. And I wouldn't get that at home.

Sat under my void deck for awhile, thinking through things. I've been telling myself to forget about it since the end of last year. Yeah sure, that's what I've been saying but is virtually impossible. I tell myself not to get soft hearted, but yeah. That's also not possible. Went in, saw Money at the door wagging her tail. She seemed to be able to tell I was sad and cried, snuggled up to me. Hugged her and continued.

Will stop here.. nothing much to write about anyway, all the above are all bullcrap. But blogging's the only way to vent.

Reached school rather early today.. around 7.15 I think, plenty of time to walk about and buy drinks before assembling. Ceremony began and ended, check for thermometers and reading period, as usual. Started the day with POA, new chapter. Was about prepaid expenses and accrued revenue etc.. was pretty basic but will prolly get harder in the process.

Recess, ate then went to our usual area, the bench. Which I got explicitly gang-raped by Marcus, Nick &Justin(who dropped his phone 3 times o_o), uber embarrassing when people walked past us, worst of all was that Jeremy just watched and laughed. Assembled at the parade square then went back for Math lessons.

Didn't put on contacts today.. so couldn't see the board clearly. Which means I didn't really pay much attention, though I did all the work she assigned us. Had Physics test after wards, didn't expect 3 chapters, so I only studied for refraction and reflection of light. Which only had 1 question. Probably gonna fail, foundation not even there.

Stay'd back for Math remedial, Nick, Dayna and momo stayed back with me. :D 'Cause there's a retest later during the remedial, Momo taught me during the 20 minute break. Understood what she said but forgot after wards, but I think I got the hang of it anyway. After much practice I did it. D: But needed some help during the test itself anyway.. but I think I may have passed even without help. I hope D:

Stayed back.. more, MrsToh wanted to test me on Sec2 stuff, see which one I was weak in, and it wasn't integers, but was algebra, expected anyway.. MrRojes' didn't really bother to teach us much so.. I'm kind of weak at it. Hopefully I'll do better once I re-learn it.

Ate KFC with them at WM, then browsed around for YiShan's bday present, didn't find anything suitable for her, yet. Then walked around in Popular and something caught my eye.. Pokemon :D! Lol, suddenly felt like playing it. @_@ Then went to Nick&Dayna, they were reading a lovebook, with questions like "When was the time he disappointed you?". Ducky was looking for her books to buy, then she found a book suitable for Firdaus, "Obama's way of Speech and Vision!" Lol, this kind of book also got D:

Went to Nick's house, Jacq went home. Dayna came along as well, played with Brownie&Sparkie and the piano. Then camwhored with the two of them in the mirror. Act cute, gay and man. Was fun, though Nick felt very 勉强, but it's okay. 习惯就好！ :D

After that? Go home lor. Doing revision paper 2 now, cannot believe it right. Me too. O:

Super.Boring.Today.

Any day with Mathematics on double period sucks. MrsToh keeps giving attitude to the class, paying attention to only the ones that can keep up, while she speeds off leaving the slower ones behind -.- Then say we never do homework 'cause we're lazy. Blah. Blah. And all the crap. Tomorrow got Maths remedial.. re-test on the previous test.. which I scored a pathetic 10% out of 30 marks.

MissChong didn't come today, so we had 4 entire periods of slack. P.E w/o MrFoo and Ramesh, just MrNg, totally ignored everything he asked us to do. He doesn't care anyway, went off for extremely early recess. Went up to change after lunch, Nick took out his HP in the toilet 'cause he was changing, and MrTeo came in right after that, apparently checking for smokers. Saw the phone and wanted to confiscate. Until he made me and Nick stay behind until everyone left, then blackmailed us D:

"Phone or information" -.- Wa lao eh, difficult position, obviously we chose the latter. But didn't really say who it was, just said the class. Which I think he could've guessed himself anyways.

Played murderer with classmates on the last 2 periods, PG. Since MsChong wasn't here we started playing. CNY's over. School's gonna get tougher now, as if it wasn't boring enough. School had to add on with redundant things like hair checks and all those stupid things.

分手了。

Stared at the screen for 5 hours straight, finally knowing what to write..

I DUNNO WHAT TO WRITE. Dx

Okay.. I'll just go back to a few days back. Went out with Nick&Dayna to kBox.. felt so.. un-needed there =_= I'm not going out with just both of them next time. Sang several songs; mostly Liang Jing Ru for me.. and took a super ugly picture.. which.. I "forgotten" to take back from Nick.

And then a few days farther back.. went to Jeremy's house with Nick&Marcus. First time walking around Gombak area at 9 PM. Looks really different, even the school felt quiet and peaceful, for once. Though it was somewhat eerie. But in any case.. Jeremy was also at his friend's house, "not knowing" that we were coming although we told him so that afternoon.

Oh yeah, met Nick alone before we went over.. watched <>. It's funny, and nice. Though the storyline's overused and cliche, but screw that.

Went up to his house after meeting him at Maccas.. then uh.. played PS2 with Nick :D Accel 2 and pwnt his arse again. Then say I use cheat again D: which I didn't. Then learnt how to play 'Dai Di' I suck at it la.. utterly embarassing -.-. Then played some dumb swapping game.. don't even have time to see my hand then must swap liao.

Then went home.. and fell asleep instantaneously right after lying on the ground. Then I woke up and forgot everything.

Today's the 3rd of February, Jeremy didn't come today. I think it's his birthday? I know it's a single digit on the second month.. but I've no idea the specific date.. but w/e. Had school breakfast today, first time in our life. Bought Mac there& my eyes was fucking hurting like mad. Dayna made love breakfast for Nick, and everyone was looking at him while he ate xD

Right.. I'll end here then. Valentine's coming. D: I'm gonna be alone. Again.