Tuesday, February 17, 2009
~ 2/17/2009 09:19:00 PM ~
Another day of awkward silence in class; we're not talking anymore. Not one to one, and hardly in groups. That's good anyway.. in a sense. This kind of relationship is wrong anyway, so we're better off just keeping quiet.
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Appetite wasn't good these few days.. everything tasted bland ever since. Regret telling Nick about it.. and got to know the truth. Which I somewhat expected since two years ago, but didn't wanna hear it from himself but I guess that can't be helped. It would eventually come anyways.
Ironically.. I didn't feel relieved at all. I always thought the burden on my heart was this, and now that it's solved the load would be lifted. But.. no. It's even more confusing now.
Stayed with Dayna&Nick during recess, spouted out a chinese idiom subconsciously.
“天有不测风云，人有旦夕祸福。”
He said his biggest “福” was Dayna, and I asked why's it such that when people love others it's considered a fortunate thing. Yet not in my case, I asked “为什么别人爱的那么幸福？我却爱得那么痛苦？“, he didn't give a definite answer but.. I guess. I guess that's why way it is. But in any case.. it's all over now; rain after sunshine. Nothing's gonna change that. And I can't accept it.. not now at least - yet.
And nowadays.. crying doesn't help the strain on my heart anymore. Eating doesn't brighten my day. Gelare doesn't even look appetizing anymore.
